The Hidden Struggles of Privileged Teens: Why Success Doesn’t Always Equal Happiness

When we think of teens at risk for mental health challenges, our minds often turn to disadvantaged or underserved communities. But startling new research suggests that many of today’s most distressed adolescents are actually thriving academically, living in affluent suburbs, and on track for elite universities.

According to psychologist Dr. Suniya Luthar of Columbia University’s Teachers College, teens from upper-middle-class families—those with average household incomes around $120,000—report higher rates of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse than any other group of young Americans. While families in poverty face obvious challenges, Dr. Luthar cautions that “we can’t assume things are serene at the other end.”

The Price of Privilege

Clinical psychologist Dr. Madeline Levine, author of The Price of Privilege, has found that behind the polished resumes and college prep courses lie intense parental pressure, fear of failure, and emotional isolation. Well-meaning parents often overemphasize grades and accolades, leaving little room for character development or resilience. These pressures can take a serious toll, contributing to depression and substance abuse among even the most “successful” teens.

Psychologist Dr. Dan Kindlon echoes these concerns, noting that shrinking family sizes have made children seem more “precious,” inadvertently encouraging self-centeredness. “It was kind of hard to think the world revolved around you when you had eight brothers and sisters,” he says.

A Culture of Narcissism?

Our culture isn’t helping. Reality shows, social media, and celebrity culture have glamorized self-absorption. Research by Dr. Jean Twenge reveals a steady rise in narcissism among college students since the 1980s. This overconfidence, while sometimes mistaken for ambition, often masks deeper insecurity and leads to difficulty forming meaningful relationships.

In fact, celebrities—particularly reality TV stars—scored far higher on narcissism scales than the general public in a 2006 study. Dr. Susan Linn of Harvard warns that constant exposure to these glamorous yet unrealistic portrayals of success fosters unhealthy values in teens, fueling dissatisfaction with their own lives.

More Options, More Pressure

Not all psychologists agree that narcissism is rising. Dr. Kali Trzesniewski suggests today’s teens may just be more aware of their options and more selective in their choices—not necessarily more self-absorbed. Still, the weight of opportunity and expectations can be overwhelming.

Parents, driven by fears that their children won’t “make it,” sometimes shield them from failure entirely, resulting in teens who struggle with resilience and emotional setbacks. A 2005 study led by Dr. Luthar found that teens whose parents overly emphasized achievements were most likely to experience anxiety, depression, and substance abuse.

What Can Parents Do?

Experts offer several practical steps:

• Encourage participation in household responsibilities and community service to foster empathy and resilience.

• Limit screen time and monitor digital media use to reduce exposure to unrealistic social standards.

• Focus less on grades and test scores, and more on helping children discover a love for learning.

Ultimately, parents and educators must recognize that emotional struggles don’t discriminate by income. As Dr. Luthar puts it: “Pain transcends demographics and family income.” Ensuring our teens are truly well—not just successful on paper—requires empathy, perspective, and a willingness to redefine what it means to thrive.